My husband and I are approaching eight years of marriage! From the outside looking in, our relationship follows the complementarian model of marriage, but looks can be deceiving. In practice, we have an egalitarian marriage, one based on mutual love and respect.
Dan and I are equals in our relationship. We are two different people who have committed our lives to each other. We lead each other as we grow, and as we learn, together.
If you’re interested in learning more about egalitarian marriage, I’ve assembled some great resources on the topic!
Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one, I might receive a commission, at no cost to you. I encourage you to check out your local library or local bookstore for these products on egalitarian marriage! However, I provide Amazon affiliate links to acknowledge that not everyone has local access to books.
Books on Egalitarian Marriage
I have not read most of these egalitarian marriage books myself. However, they come recommended by multiple sources I trust!
Mutual by Design: A Better Model of Christian Marriage
“The Bible casts a vision of marriage where men and women co-lead and co-serve as equal partners. This book explores that vision.”
This book helps couples at any stage of their relationship.
Together: Reclaiming Co-Leadership in Marriage
“In Eden, a married couple was created to reflect and reveal the oneness and plurality in God’s Trinitarian nature. A man and woman, both made in the image of God, and both given the procreation and dominion mandates. Together, naked and without shame, they enjoyed co-leadership.”
This book also helps couples at any stage in their relationship.
The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended
“Based on a groundbreaking in-depth survey of 22,000 Christian women, The Great Sex Rescue unlocks the secrets to what makes some marriages red hot while others fizzle out. Generations of women have grown up with messages about sex that make them feel dirty, used, or invisible, while men have been sold such a cheapened version of sex, they don’t know what they’re missing. The Great Sex Rescue hopes to turn all of that around, developing a truly biblical view of sex where mutuality, intimacy, and passion reign.”
I am one of the Christian women who took the survey! I subscribe to Sheila Wray Gregoire’s newsletter. I’ve read so much of her blog. I haven’t read this book yet, but I ordered it recently.
Making Marriage Beautiful: Lifelong Love, Joy, and Intimacy Start with You
“Because a wedding joins together two imperfect people, all couples experience disappointment, conflict, and pain. How husbands and wives respond to these challenges determines the kind of people they will become and the kind of marriage they will have.”
This is another book that works for couples at any stage in their relationship. More recently, Dorothy Littell Greco published another book specifically for midlife couples.
Partners in Christ: A Conservative Case for Egalitarianism
“The Bible says that women should keep silent in church and that they should pray and prophesy. It calls wives the weaker partner and says that men and women are equal… Are you looking for an approach that takes the whole Bible into account and not just bits and pieces of it? While treating Scripture with utmost seriousness, Stackhouse moves us all beyond the impasse in this important debate.”
This book is more scholarly than the others listed. It tackles more than just egalitarian marriage, looking at women’s overall role in the Church.
A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband ‘Master’
“With just the right mixture of humor and insight, compassion and incredulity, [this book] is an exercise in scriptural exploration and spiritual contemplation. What does God truly expect of women, and is there really a prescription for biblical womanhood? Come along with Evans as she looks for answers in the rich heritage of biblical heroines, models of grace, and all-around women of valor.”
I’ve read this book twice, and I plan to read it again. While it discusses more than egalitarian marriage, it’s an important resource for this list. This book impacted me so much that I included it in a list of books that changed my life. When Rachel Held Evans died, I cried hard, for a long time. She has been one of the greatest Christian influences on my life.
Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible’s View of Women
“Written with poetic rhythm, a prophetic voice, and a deeply biblical foundation, this loving yet fearless book urges today’s church to move beyond man-made restrictions and fully welcome women’s diverse voices and experiences.”
Jesus Feminist is another book that changed my life! This also covers more than just egalitarian marriage, but marriage is still an important topic in this book.
Websites on Egalitarian Marriage
The following websites provide considerable advice on egalitarian marriage. I’ve even guest-blogged for one of them!
Marg Mowczko has a theology degree (BTh) from the Australian College of Ministries (ACOM) and a masters degree (MA) with a specialisation in early Christian and Jewish studies from Macquarie University. She writes extensively about the Bible, breaking down translation issues in a way that’s easy to understand. While she covers many interesting topics, I’ve linked directly to her Equality in Marriage archives. If you’re looking for an introduction to egalitarianism, check out these posts:
I guest-blogged for CBE International many years ago! Egalitarian marriage is just one topic they cover on their website. Their mission statement is:
CBE exists to promote the biblical message that God calls women and men of all cultures, races, and classes to share authority equally in service and leadership in the home, church, and world. CBE’s mission is to eliminate the power imbalance between men and women resulting from theological patriarchy.
This is a series of guest posts on Jenny Rae Armstrong’s website. While the most recent post is several years old, these honest perspectives on egalitarian marriage will inspire couples of any age.
The Junia Project is an amazing website that covers multiple topics related to biblical womanhood, including egalitarian marriage. From their About page:
The Junia Project exists to teach biblical equality, equip women, and resource the Church.
We advocate for the full inclusion of women in church leadership and for mutuality in marriage.
In addition to writing many books during her life, Rachel Held Evans was also a prolific blogger. I’ve linked directly to her Mutuality tag, which goes to her archive of writings on mutual submission in marriage. You can also find a few more posts on the Marriage tag.
This is another link to Rachel Held Evans’ website, but it’s a list of blog posts submitted by other writers on mutuality, back in 2012. Not all links are still valid, but many direct you to archived blog posts written in a conversational style about women’s roles in the home and in the church.
This is my Christian feminist lifestyle blog. I don’t write on Belle Brita as often as I once did, primarily because I feel God has called me to build Muddling Through Together. However, I’ve written extensively on marriage, sharing both personal stories from my own egalitarian marriage and giving more general marriage advice.
Final Thoughts on Egalitarian Marriage
If you and your partner are:
- discussing marriage as a possibility
- planning a wedding
- celebrating your new marriage
- celebrating many years of marriage
These resources will help you build and grown an egalitarian marriage. There is so much freedom in marriage when you and your partner realize you aren’t stuck in roles assigned by culture!
If I’m missing a resource on egalitarian marriage, please let me know in the comments!
Check out these additional blog posts on marriage: